Let’s talk briefly about the modern marriage, specifically how it has become transactional.
In my experience and daily life, I’ve begun to notice a pattern in dating or marriage. Recognition, attraction, infatuation, brief moments of bliss, difficult season, abrupt end.
It feels like we have replaced the covenant of marriage with a contract. A contract says “I’ll stay as long as you meet my needs”. A covenant says “ I’ll stay even when it costs me“. It’s as of modern society is teaching us that it’s about what you get, not what you give.
This appears to be applied to the modern marriage. In Malachi 2:16 , it is said God hates divorce, not because he’s mean, but for what it does to people.
When marriage is about personal fulfillment instead of faithfulness, it makes it that much easier to leave when feeling fades or difficult seasons arrive. There is no longer the feeling of we are in this together as I mentioned before it is transactional.
Lastly, and probably most important social media and of course dating apps make people feel like there’s always a better option around the corner or at the next swipe. So instead of focusing on the current relationship and working through difficult seasons, it is about finding a replacement as soon as possible “swipe and move on“.
Finding someone who actually wants to grow toward God with you and understands that marriage is a covenant and not a contract, is rare and valuable. If you find this or are even seeking remember, don’t be this and don’t settle for less.
I do understand that there are situations in our society in modern marriages where staying is impossible be it, due to physical harm or other forms of abuse and I am not saying that about these marriages or relationships. This is an entirely different aspect and does not apply to those.